Tehmina’s Corner: What I really desire is spaciousness…
…and it’s not just me. In the last few years, I’ve been witnessing big shifts in our collective thinking: that we are more than our productivity; that in order to go far, we need to slow down; that we need to tune into and honor our natural rhythms and how they are mimicked in nature.
I get to be in spaces daily where I get to take part in practicing these ways of being. And, I also see the challenges that arise as we grind up against the larger systems and processes that are at odds with this. And I think this friction, this tension is an invitation - an invitation to become more mindful and give ourselves and others grace as we figure it out together.
Building Istani has been a huge practice in slowness and grace. I am drawn to this textile and its process because it demands slowness. In order to produce these awe-inspiring results, I must wait for the fabric to be washed, sundried, stewed with herbs, stamped, soaked, wrung dry, and folded, multiple times over. I must honor this process despite being in an industry and culture at-large that perpetuates speed, urgency and growth for growth’s sake.
Let alone this process of printing the textile, starting up and sustaining a small and evolving businesses as an immigrant woman-of-color has come with it’s own set of stops and starts. What keeps me going here is a connection to my purpose and an unrelenting faith in my vision for Istani. I definitely need reminders and I have only been able to come to this place after a lot of inner work and the strong support from my loved ones.
So, how do we continue to invite spaciousness into our lives? What does spaciousness feel like? How does it move through your body?
For me it looks like self-care. The New Age / Wellness industry has confused us on self-care. I find the word cringe and yet, I haven’t found a better alternative yet. But here’s what I’ve learned about self-care and it’s a muscle I’m still building:
Self-care is a playground, not a prescription.
Self-care is not about a checklist of things to cross off on a “Morning Routine” list. It’s about creating moments through out the day to tune in and listen to yourself so you can respond to your evolving needs. What we needed yesterday may not be what we need today and that’s okay.
This is how I’m inviting spaciousness in my life. I take frequent breaks from screens to look at the sky. I say no to events and activities, a lot. Sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I lay on my acupuncture pad. Sometimes I get under the covers and binge watch Everybody Loves Raymond. Sometimes I go to my favorite cafe and get their best baked treat and plan my finances. Sometimes, I go on a long walk and call a family member to chat about family history.
From that place of groundedness, I am better able to contribute to the communities and causes I care about. And I think that's what the mainstream narrative about self-care just glosses over: self-care isn't just about the individual, it's about how we show up for each other, too.
If you are reading this, consider this an opening. A portal. An invitation to create space for more of whatever you need in life so that you can continue to show up for yourself and others in a way that feels good and does good.
